Selective groupings are finally out...after a loong wait. And I got...
l-i-t-e-r-a-t-u-r-e!~!!
And I mean long... I've been waiting since sem 1. *grins* (I read someone's blog bout selectives before I even entered IMU...and resolved to do literature right after that. Its a 2 yr "dream come true"? hahaha
So. Timetable is out, along with groupings. Apart from the fact that lectures(well, lectures?) are all gonna be 1.30pm like sem 2 and 3, I quite like my timetable. I find it very interesting and likable... I'm one who cant sit through heavy lectures without dozing off even momentarily. No lectures at 8.30am in the morning / 4pm in the evening ; no assesments and no heavy lectures. Instead, drama rehersal(like crazy) with some essays on "personal reflection" etc, which involves...crapping ;p What could be better? The "down" side is we ARE gonna be busy. But when one is enjoying(hopefully), it doesnt become a chore, no? :)
Gonna be with people like Esther, Sufi, Angeline, Sandip, Hwei Jene, June and many others amounting to 52 peeps. Hopefully we get to pick our own groupings! *fingers crossed*
...King Oedipus. I hope we do justice to your pin-pierced bloody eyes and self-fullfilling prophecy which you tried so hard to run away from.
On another note, summatives are next thursday. No comment. I just...want to pass. And hopefully do well. I've got less than a week. *pls let a meteor pass by, I need a miracle*...
...I should study. NOT play roller coaster tycoon 2. (I finished all the beginner parks ady).
Laughter, tears, sweat, agony, fatigue, malaise, depression. Haha, you name it.
26 November - Summatives are approaching. Am I prepared? Not yet, but I will try. By God's grace, not by my strength. I like what my lecturer put up during a pathology slide one day. It goes something like this :
" The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in which direction we are moving. " - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
He was trying to describe to renal infection pathway. But nontheless, I feel it is a very good saying, very true, very wise.
Sometimes , many times even, I tend to compare myself with others. There will always be somebody better, smarter, achieves higher results, more talented, can draw much much better, doesn't play musical instruments at mere entertaintment level... You get the picture. There will always be dissatisfaction. And for me at least, sometimes it has caused much heartache. Who doesn't want to be the best? who doesn't want to be multi talented, superman/woman? Who doesnt want faith that moves mountains? In short, who doesn't want to be "special"?
But the greatest thing in this world is not where we are...but where we are moving. What am I moving towards? What is my actions and daily thoughts, or schedule bringing me to? I only know to strive the best I can. And perhaps, perhaps, that is enough.
there is someone inside of me waiting to be unleashed whom You embraced whom i long to be (Ian McIntosh - Awakened)
I can, and will say that I am beautiful - Simply because my God who loves me beautifully carved my very "being" - down to the last muscle and nerve. He who knows all my stengths, and flaws, and loves me the same. The eternal God who never changes. The One who saw me when He took the crown of thorns, the One who loved me through the nails that He bore. For I am beautifully and wonderfully made, my soul knows very well.
I am defined not by what the world sees of me, not by the dollar bills like those of high profile leaders and bussinessman....But I'm defined by what my Maker says of me, what He calls me. And He calls me daughter. The one whom in His eyes I'm deeply loved, greatly blessed, and highly favoured. And this is the fact that remains the same, unchangeble throughout time. And hence, Unmeasurable are my limits for i call you Father ,unimaginable my potential for You have called me son(daughter).
In my mind I've been telling myself to update. Not that I have nothing to update...just that I never get down to it XD
Wanted to do an egg sanwich for myself today. Why? coz i see it in uni...but dont wanna buy for 2 reasons : 1. expensive. 2. wholemeal bread. - I prefer white.
I was scheduled to wake up at 8.30 this morning. But...after 2 snoozes and just turning the alarm off, I got up in a shock...at 9.30. (no applause).
Rushed down to boil water. then I put the eggs in the hot water in the bowl...and then got changed and came downstairs. cut the bread, spread on margerine. took out the egg...it was half boiled! I could literally feel its not solid. aiks.
What did I do? I tried to smear the sanwiches with the egg. and when Sooky was waiting outside (to go to uni)...I gobbled the half boiled egg in a whole mouthful. (speaking of which, I experienced a sharp pain in my lower abdomen...just only)
The egg sanwish tasted like "gardenia" bread. well. if i wanted gardenia, I would have just bought plain white bread. zzz.
Aiks, I might have to go. Hopefully not food poisoning.
Feeling utterly lazy to blog. Not a good omen, means the lazy bugs have bitten.
Anyway, a very HAPPY BIRTHDAYto Jeffrey Kong who turns...as old as me! muahaha. Luckily its one day after summative huh ;) Enjoy the celebrations...Although I know you are anxious about studying as well =)
So. After sem 2 summative (and my csu, just in case some sesat fella again mistake me as a sem 2 student), we went to pyramid. Being sexiest, we dragged and took our sweet time...and as a result, reached pyramid bout 2 or so. (read: my csu was done at 12.40pm). Muakaka. And choose the chicken place Nando's to eat.
Here on, I shall be letting the pictures say its own story, hopefully with minimal captions. =) I'm just being lazy
Jeff and Diana. The 2 flexible dancers and wacky people.
"Why cannot work wan?" :o
Very tall little boy ;)
Surprise birthday cake! (actually ,he already knew. What la surprise)
Cake reads: Jeff, Happy birthday Hot stuff! Stay hot and sizzling! Love , sexiest.
Make a wish....
Reduce air pollution! (Kidding, blow the candles)
Cut the cake... Thats how its done,here! =p
Jolene aka ah ma had a briliant suggestion... (hint: look at jeff's fingers beside diana's)
Din't manage to take the one on jeff's face
But Diana (sitting beside) happily posed with her portion of cream , thanks to not sure who;)
Even meek Geena *cough* sore throat *cough* wasn't spared ;p
With the 2 rays of sunshine =)
Mommy, Daddy, Intruder Rakib
Mr NewZealand Derrick Chieng! (no...he's not from NZ. he's pure chinese ;) )
Did I mention he's a super poser?
Tatha aka Tej, the tall guy that wants a wife no shorter than his head.
Infant. I mean weihoong. A student ah!
Sofiah. Camwhore fail(I mean me, the picture is not properly taken) ;p
Mommy Geena. The one who got a tortoise on her birthday and named it after her husband :p. (does it mean he is slow????)
Mommy's husband aka daddy. The one with fluctuations and dunno how many wives / concubines/ daughters =p
Kibby! :D you have yet to take me gyming!
Mae Yue. You're more than 5 feet la!
Evonne. Date back to college days when we first met there.
Sometimes I'm caught in a more pensive mood....but many times I decide not to pen them down.
Went for Chi11 "Open house" aka "gathering" or just pure fun la. Food! haha from fishballs to pizza to malay traditional food, thanks to Sofiah! C= There were many games there, u name it. Heart attack, Mafia, Cluedo, Scrabble, Cho Dai Dee, even the infamous guitar hero...and Uno Stacko.
Some say that life is like a roller coaster ride, ups and downs. I think so too, but I think an Uno game does give an accurate picture as well. Life is like a game to be played...you prepare yourselves as you can (looking/ observing the tiles and where is best to pull a tile out); but you follow the crowd as well ( its either the same colour or same number). Your moves are partially influenced by others as well (depending on their moves).
Then there are the ups and downs... your life seems shaky ( well, the Uno stacko shakes and you're praying hard it doesn't fall) and sometimes you get second chances (if the stack doesn't fall); you're in a dangerous position (base not steady); you get dealt with sucky stuff (draw 2 , draw 4 or more!)...and sometimes life just crashes on you (the deck crashes). Then do you start anew? Is this considered a 2nd chance,where you start out from you left off? Or do you leave behind everything and start afresh? [I know I'm not making sense]
But perhaps like getting drawn, sometimes you finish the game faster? I don't know what to make of life sometimes, but I guess I can be comforted by the fact that although I don't know my next move and what it brings, I know my life is secure in the One who sees the whole picture, the One who loves me and cares for me like no other.
Happened to watch this today. Its soooo cute! Really touching as well, however unrealistic fiction always is. Its so heart warming to watch the dedication and commitment in a genuine friendship - and a good reminder to never assume or think you know whats going on when in fact whats happening is the total opposite. =) Thumbs up to Pixar, you never fail to disappoint. Hehe
Was really looking forward to emcee-ing the art festival. Havn't emceeded for years. And before I knew it, I had pericoronitis (google it if u dunno)...and had to miss the opening ceremony.
But I was happy when offered a chance to emcee for the closing ceremony...with Ash! Was quite dissapointed when Ash found out she had pbl the next day at the same time. Then started the co-emcee search frenzy. Turned down by one and the other wasn't approved...in the end I end up emceeing with Eldwin :)
Daddy aka Eldwin aka Co-emcee for closing ceremony
I can tell you, I honestly was so jittery and am so thankful that my co-emcee started the thing. I believe I was pretty much a bundle of nerves, and kept my head to my prepared script :)
Bundle of nerves :s
Eld "strutting his stuff"
A big THANK YOU to the Big Guy above (God, in case you were wondering whats with the caps) :) Grateful for the courage, grace, strength, and everything else I know and don't. I'm grateful for not messing up, and having the chance to hone my "public relations / public speaking" (so lousy terms, but owh well). Am really thankful for people like Ash, Esther and some others tho...jz for being there, for supporting me all the way! And to my co-emcee Eld aka daddy - You rocked :) Proud of you :)
Esther! - beautiful in and out, an amazing friend and a multi talented girl who is still single! *hint hint* :) (Esther is so gonna kill me...but free advert for you babe! ;p)
The 3 bloggerheads :)
Overdue photos - Some little encouragements during EOS 3. Mommy Ruby and her knowledge of my loving bright colours :)
Sabby and her unmistakable talent in drawing + encouraging :)
Orientation random photo's Indoor treasure hunt...Everthing was delayed (sorta expected tho)
...And we end up "camwhoring" XD (with Pretty Alison)
...while sitting on the sidewalk so that juniors can sit :]
CHILL Chill nametag (which I "hoarded" in my bag till orientation was done!
Little gesture from Jun Ee. Really beautifully made, and the gift spoke volumes :)
Really touched by the gestures of my juniors :) And I don't know how, but I liked my photo frame. It felt really kindergarden - ish (the others were more sophisticated)...but I liked mine. it was very me. The bright yellow + art stuff - maple leaves, pine tress with different facial expressions, what I always "conteng" on Sooky (or whoever sits beside me's ) paper...and the classic sun! (the thing I always drew). Thanks guys :) You all rock big time :) hehe
Its been a while since I've really sat down and blogged. Many thoughts came and went; events happened, successfully or not is left as a question still in my mind. First of all though, I'm grateful I don't have to attend english classes. I guess with my poor time management, that's just gonna suck more energy and more time from me. Guess it does pay to restrain...to not write tooooo much beyond the limit (say, word limit).
Having mixed feelings about the end of orientation. Got to know some pretty cool juniors...and they are really junior to me this time, esp in age. there is even one that is my bro's age!!! Haha, pts pts. There were some times (many times in fact) that I really felt frustrated...At times I am result oriented, and to not see the best, and I myself have nothing to offer...I guess its really trying for me. I'm glad it all worked out, and on my part...maybe I need to let go abit?
Variety night for me was the "coolest". I especially liked the ending , the climax of the "Snow white and the seven dwarfs", where the prince kisses snow white but she doesnt wake up...and instead a dwarf goes "ei, the kiss din't work wor! Aiyah i know la (in a very malaysian / singaporean slang), we should all kiss her together!" hahaha I tell you, that was funny!
Chi11 production
Really proud of the team tho, they managed to work together in the end, and make a play they can be proud of. And congrats guys, for opening up during viva. It was definitely a good thing to make some points known...and on our part, if reassurance is what we can give, we will. You know you have us to count on if you guys need anything. :) Just ask (I doubt any of you read this tho)
Glad that pbl3 is over, now left pbl 4 part 2 next monday. Fingers crossed that I don't get SD as the next faci...not flexible, CANT combine, all sessions must last 1.30 hrs!!! crossed fingers get a nice faci...like my current one TKL! haha.
What is my motivating factor? What keeps me going? Suddenly I'm not so sure... I do want to excel in life, succeed... Let my motivation be You God, Your strength and love that drives me on.
So the Malay Cultural Society in my uni decided to organize a homestay program to the Malay Kampong (more like Jawa, but anyway) in Sungai Dorani. I was apprehensive about going, at first. First up, I din't noe most (90%) or more of the pple who were going along. And then, I wasn't going along with a "buddy" who could accompany me even if I was "alone".
But I went anyway. *grins* It was definitely a good experience. I didn't have "the time of my life", but it was a memorable trip with some fond experiences. I'll write a bit, but mostly I'll let some pictures do the talking. Note: most of the pictures I "curi" from others. Facebook of friends (who brought DLSR's and big camera's lol) and few are my own. there are many more, but those pple haven't posted up the pics yet...so I guess thats ok ;)
Group picture before starting out. Journey took roughly 2.5 hours.
We were welcomed by villagers busy "salam"-ing with us, and then were treated to tea. Fried cempedak, pulut, young coconut water as thirst quencher... :) It was a good start. The people were really friendly, and after a short speech by the person in charge, we were divided into our homestay groups and went off with our foster parents.
Truth to be told ,this is not a really "kampung" house...Its a malay modern bungalow. And the interior is also very modern...It even has automated air fresheners which keeps the place nice smelling! :)
The postbox. I din't manage to take pictures, but there were dozens of ayam kampung behind the house, some running free...and there were many "ikan kucing misai" (i think) which is catfish in English. We all had a go at catching the fish,hehe. Then there were some plants (cant remember what already).
Our "walit", Jawa for "Daddy", or is it Perak way,I'm not sure. Mr Zahid is a Perak-ian, really friendly man who participates actively during mealtime conversations as well, and was a very good host :)
And then there is "Encik", or what we know as mom. It was a little bit of a relief for me, as I would personally find it a little weird to call someone you've barely known for a day "dad" or "mom". Hence "walit" and "encik" served me fine, although we did try to be good foster kids ;)
Encik is from Jawa, and is more than friendly. She took good care of us, up from cooking fantastic meals such as tom yam to sitting with us at the village style feast later in the evening.
And here are my fantastic housemates. There were 4 chinese in this program, 3 girls and 1 guy. The guys, 7 of them were cramped into one household, while the 3 of us girls, with my beloved ex-pbl mate (also my roommate for the night) were housed with walit and encik.
After a lovely lunch of tom yam, omelet and watermelon plus cold orange juice , we rested then headed back to the centre, where most activities were held. And first up was the batik chanting activity.
Imagine 20 pple craming side by side to paint (well, colour actually), the base was already drawn for us. 1 lesson to take home : DON'T wear yellow (or light colours) while painting. my shirt got a lil colour, but luckily it was at the side, hence not so noticable.
My 2 finished pieces as it was being dried with the others. (I had time for 2 as I had already done mine...and there were "leftovers". It was pretty fast as there were only 1 flower for each piece , opposed to many flowers on other cloths. I actually wanted to colour another piece with multiple flowers instead of the one with the rose (my second piece)...but as the place was crammed with people on the left and right, I decided to settle for the one on my left instead.
The second piece. the foldings you see in the subsequent pictures is because the pieces were later dried and cut individually , and folded to be put into a small pouch as a souvenir for us.
My first piece (I kinda like this one much more, what about you?) :] Somehow the colours seem more lively here... The beauty of multi shade colouring haha. I mixed the darker purple myself! *bangga sendiri*( haha kidding bout the bangga part. I really mixed my own dark purple as I wanted 2 shades of purple while there was only one).
The butterfly up close. Somehow the colours just blended beautifully :)
Drink /tea after the batik session...
Then we walked to the next house (not that far away, 3 mins walk?) to the next "menumbuk padi" activity.
The traditional way of removing padi husks...by pounding them.
Then the pounded padi(its hard work!) will be put on a sift...
And you sift it! haha
We came 2 weeks after the padi was harvested. but saw a small padi plant at the side of the house near the parit. See the dried up plants behind. We saw a farmer conducting open burning too! The wind, thankfully drew the smoke in the opposite direction.
Then there was the health awareness activity. We were divided into 4 groups. My roommate and I were in charge of blood pressure station for the women. And honestly it wasn't easy for me. I felt that I had communication problems with the village folk, mostly because I don't speak their language too fluently. And was a little shy as well. So yeah...Mizah was a natural. I felt a little out of place. And the amount of people who came was wayy more than we could handle, with only 1 blood pressure set. Most womenfolk were nice, but some of them naturally were a little impatient, and were frustrated that it took so long for them to get their blood pressure checked. A few of the women were really "difficult" patients...I barely could feel their pulse / hear their karakoff sounds! (systole and diastole reading)
Later in the evening, we went back for a quick shower before heading for the "kenduri arwah". It was a village style feast, held in conjunction with prayers for the deceased. We ate on the floor, male and females separate (males outside at the tables, females inside nearer to the kitchen), with dishes on a dulang (large tray). The cendawan goreng was my favourite dish! It looked plain, but it was fantastic man... =D
Then we sat around on the chairs while waiting for the next program, performances :)
First there was the nasyid performance by the ladies. And our encik was one of them :) hehe you know, when we went to centre, we looked at each other when we realised that 1, later 2 and subsequently 3 of them were dressed in the same kurung outfit, same design! We wondered, and reasoned with each other - until we saw the ladies walk on stage! haha it was a surprise - and a little of a shock at the same time.
Then there was the IMU performance by the guys...who presented 3 songs. Pardon me, but most of us were laughing throughout. It was funny! (try getting 7 guys ,not natural singers to try sing 3 different songs with 3 different tones and you'll see what I mean). But you know I salute them for going out there...with the little practice and many in the audience! :P
Then there was the "kuda kepang" performance. It was pretty much a new experience for most (I think all ) of us. And I can't exactly tell you, you need to go see for yourself. We were given the chance to learn / try the dance as well. Not as easy as it looks. For me the most horrible part is the cracking of the whip sound (to slow / hasten the pace of the dance / to signify the start/ end of the dance etc). My fingers were in my ears throughout the performance -___-
The next day, it was time for us to leave. BUT before that , we had a few more activities. :)
Leaving our foster family homes, on the way *scenery pictures alert*:
The harvested padi fields, and a machine that makes the job much much faster.
Hay rolled into a roll? I dunno. haha
A kampung style house on stilts (most of them here are on stilts still)
Dragon fruit tree.
We then fished in the padi fields. *see the fishing rod* with prawns as bait.
The flowers in the padi fields nice, no? :)
I was severely sunburnt...all for one fish! not worth it ler... (others were lucky enough to get up to 7...(my housemate)... and even got a catfish! but some dint get any, so perhaps I was still lucky...
We also visited the nata de coco factories and the kerepek factory. a disappointment though as the factories were closed as it was weekends. then lastly we visited the manggo farms... laden with mangoes. Bought a kilo worth of manggos.
See what I mean by "laden with mangoes"? the tree is practically bent man.
Before we left, we naturally had to take some photos.
I assure you, doing this jump is highly painful when you hand on your soles! >< and we did it not just once, twice but many times ! (To get a nice picture). I tried to take a photo of pple jumping, but couldn't. Timing was just not right, somehow. Takes skill. Someone like Tay /Pongkie, for example :)
The girls
Group photo (minus the photographer >< ) with some of the foster parents.
It was definitely a fond memory for me. I got to experience for myself a little of the lifestyle in a village. I did not see any computers nor any luxury items like Benz, but people there were contended. They were willing to share their lives and culture, looking beyond the skin colour. As the emcee of the sungai dorani homestay counterpart said "It doesn't matter if you're Indian, Chinese, Malay, Korean, Japanese...we treat you all as our family here. Thats why we ask you to call us "dad" and "mom" (in bahasa, Abah, mak...) rather than "pak cik" and "mak cik". Like that kurang mesra, call us family more warmth." Well said, I think, and that sums up the short but enjoyable trip to the Homestay program.
Saw an ad for adult art classes. So felt like going for it. I like art, deep down. (Yes, although I cant draw. Sooky can attest to that :p ) but well, don't think my parents will like the idea.
Am done with dermatology electives. Sooky has more pictures than I do, but I'll post what I have soon...hopefully. haha. not crazy over blogging lately.
Things to do: clear bed, clear table (hardly possible , knowing myself), do elective report, wash hair tomorrow... ... ...
Back from homestay too. at sabak bernam, in a place called sungai dorani. Did I enjoy myself? Yes. Did I get new experiences? Definitely. Would I go back / recommend the place? Sure. the highlight for me was the batik chanting. (well, I got to colour batik for real. :) I love art wert... )
Am pretty tired of the animals around / in the house. cats, dogs, etc...u name it. "pitiful" cries and soil diggers who make one's blood boil is so not entertaining.
Won't deny that I did feel disappointed for a moment. Mild disappointment maybe, but there was a little.
Found out that there was supposed to be a meeting tomorrow. I would have thought that I'll be informed, even if the meeting is postponed. But as it is, its the authority of whoever who is higher to do what is he/she pleases, no?
Maybe I'm getting a lil worked up over something small. Reason being that when I do something ,I just want to do my very best. I expect at least some form of...trust? Well maybe it isn't a trust issue, but I thought that at least the decisions made, at least I would know of it. Not having to get worked up and find out from a third party.
Not angry, but again wondering. Why do I always commit my best, give my best to whatever I do. Maybe I should pick and choose. Is this one?
Song playing: 21 Guns (Green Day), New Divide ( Linkin Park)
Much time has passed. Each time, I'll just open my blog to check for any comments.(Which is not much). Contemplate whether to write something...And decide not to.
Tried to drive today. Fail, dad pronounced. Not safe, he said. Like this you'll probably never drive at all. Took the whole thing with a smile on the face, din't say anything. But minutes later after the whole thing, when I was recluse in my own room...I din't know what to feel. For the record, my dad came in and apologoised for "shouting" at me (like I said, I took it with a smile, din't blame / get angry at him...) but still a sense of...uselessness kinda sunk in a while. I looked at myself...and I see no talent. Someone struggling with all tries to do. Studies, driving, etc. And to say that I have the "courage", I daren't. I see myself giving up after some time, too tired to go on...
When life deals you with a lemon, what'dya do? Squeeze lemonade? But the strength to squeeze lemonade? Perhaps, just perhaps it'll come later, but for now, I don't see it... Short sighted I am.
I don't think I've kept myself at home so long without going out in a long time. Something that cheered me up a little was my visit to my former high school, where I finally claimed my spm cert. Wayyyyyy back, ain't I? Met up with some people I havn't seen in some time.
Apart from that, hols are....hols. Sleeping late everynight, coz can't seem to sleep. Morning wake up very late(11 am, 12am....) ...and the cycle continues each day. I should get down to changing it, but don't have the mood to at the moment.
Alot of things I planned to do din't materialise, naturally...Deep sigh. I've got only myself to blame.
Part of me wonders what I am doing, this year, this day, this life. Am I where I should be, where I could be? But past is past, one thing that does not come back is time. I'm supposed to aim ahead, but at the moment my mind is blank.
I wish I had a mind that had logic. That thinks, or the better word, analyzes. I don't want to be a substandard health care professional, don't want to be a menace to those of the road, endangering them and myself; don't want to live a battered, un-victorious life.
I know I take alot for granted. When one reads the newspaper one understands, one sees....The rice we eat, with the variety of dishes ; the roof over my head, and one that is more than comfortable; the luxury of connection to the world, internet, phones...
Help me to be the somebody that You want me to be, that You see already in Your eyes. And not by my own, coz' I can't do it. How I don't know , but I'm leaving that to You. Let my life be nothing short of victorious. Teach me to see myself through Your eyes. Because when I even start comparing, I fall short. I will never, never be good enough.
But through Your grace. I asked You how You could love us. What is so lovable about us, and Your reply is You see Your Son's sacrifice when You see us. And You being the just and Holy one, had to pay the price somehow. I asked how much I'm worth to You, and Your reply is that for me alone, You would send Your Son. Help me not take all these for granted, help me live the life destined for me , even before I was born, even when I was already fashioned in Your mind before I was conceived.
Make this life count in Your eyes, even if not in others. If tomorrow never comes, I wish, I only wish I have left no regrets...I wish that I have done my best to love and serve the ones who comes my way.
Chi11 production
Group picture before starting out. Journey took roughly 2.5 hours.
